yah jo main kabhee-kabhee charam saakShaatkaar ke kShaNon men
bilakul jaḌ aur nispand ho jaatee hoo(n)
is kaa marm tum samajhate kyon naheen saa(n)vare!
tumhaaree janm-janmaantar kee rahasymayee leelaa kee
ekaant sanginee main
in kShaNon men akasmaat
tum se pRthak naheen ho jaatee mere praaN,
tum yah kyon naheen samajh paate ki laaj
sirph jism kee naheen hotee
man kee bhee hotee hai
ek madhur bhay
ek anajaanaa sanshay,
ek aagrah bharaa gopan,
ek nirvyaakhyaa vedanaa, udaasee,
jo mujhe baar-baar charam sukh ke kShaNon men bhee
abhibhoot kar letee hai.
bhay, sanshay, gopan, udaasee
ye sabhee DheeTh, chanchal, sarachaḌhee saheliyon kee tarah
mujhe gher letee hain,
aur main kitanaa chaah kar bhee tumhaare paas Theek usee samay
naheen pahu(n)ch paatee jab aamr manjariyon ke neeche
apanee baa(n)suree men meraa naam bhar kar tum bulaate ho!
us din tum us baur lade aam kee
jhukee Daaliyon se Tike kitanee der mujhe vanshee se Terate rahe
Dhalate sooraj kee udaas kaa(n)patee kiraNen
tumhaare maathe ke morapankhon
se bebas vidaa maa(n)gane lageen -
main naheen aayee
gaayen kuchh kShaN tumhen apanee bholee aa(n)khon se
mu(n)h uThaaye dekhatee raheen aur phir
dheere-dheere nandagaa(n)v kee pagaDaNDee par
binaa tumhaare apane-aap muḌ gayeen -
main naheen aayee
yamunaa ke ghaaT par
machhuon ne apanee naaven baa(n)dh deen
aur kandhon par patavaaren rakh chale gaye -
main naheen aayee
tum ne vanshee hoThon se haTaa lee thee
aur udaas, maun, tum aamr-vRkSh kee jaḌon se Tik kar
baiTh gaye the
aur baiThe rahe, baiThe rahe, baiThe rahe
main naheen aayee, naheen aayee, naheen aayee
tum ant men uThe
ek jhukee Daal par khilaa ek baur tum ne toḌaa
aur dheere-dheere chal diye
anamane tumhaare paa(n)v pagaDaNDee par chal rahe the
par jaanate ho tumhaare anajaan men hee tumhaaree u(n)galiyaa(n)
kyaa kar rahee theen!
ve us aamr manjaree ko choor-choor kar
shyaamal vanaghaason men bichhee us maa(n)g-see ujalee pagaDaNDee par
bikher rahee theen .....
yah tumane kyaa kiyaa priy!
kyaa apane anajaane men hee
us aam ke baur se meree kvaa(n)ree ujalee pavitr maa(n)g
bhar rahe the saa(n)vare?
par mujhe dekho ki main us samay bhee to maathaa neechaa kar
is alaukik suhaag se pradeept ho kar
maathe par pallaa Daal kar
jhuk kar tumhaaree charaNadhooli le kar
tumhen praNaam karane -
naheen aayee, naheen aayee, naheen aayee!
**
par mere praaN
yah kyon bhool jaate ho ki main vahee
baavalee laḌakee hoo(n) n jo - kadamb ke neeche baiTh kar
jab tum poee kee jangalee lataron ke pake phalon ko
toḌ kar, masal kar, un kee laalee se mere paa(n)von ko
mahaavar rachane ke lie apanee god men rakhate ho
to main laaj se dhanuSh kee tarah doharee ho jaatee hoo(n)
aur apane paa(n)v poore bal se sameT kar kheench letee hoo(n)
apanee donon baa(n)hon men apane dhuTane kas
mu(n)h pher kar nishchal baiTh jaatee hoo(n)
par shaam ko jab ghar aatee hoo(n) to
nibhॄt ekaant men deepak ke mand aalok men
apanee unheen charaNon ko
apalak nihaaratee hoo(n)
baavalee-see unahen baar-baar pyaar karatee hoo(n)
jaldee-jaldee men adhabanee un mahaavar kee rekhaaon ko
chaaron or dekh kar dheeme-se
choom letee hoo(n).
***
raat gaharaa aayee hai
aur tum chale gaye ho
aur main kitanee der tak baa(n)h se
usee aamr Daalee ko ghere chupachaap rotee rahee hoo(n)
jis par Tik kar tum meree prateekShaa karate ho
aur main lauT rahee hoo(n),
hataash, aur niShphal
aur ye aam ke baur ke kaN-kaN
mere paa(n)v me buree tarah saal rahe hain.
par tumhen yah kaun bataayegaa saa(n)vare
ki der hee men sahee
par main tumhaare pukaarane par aa to gayee
aur maa(n)g-see ujalee pagaDaNDee par bikhare
ye manjaree-kaN bhee agar mere charaNon men gaḌate hain to
isee lie n ki kitanaa lambaa raastaa
kitanee jaldee-jaldee paar kar mujhe aanaa paḌaa hai
aur kaa(n)Ton aur kaa(n)kariyon se
mere paa(n)v kis buree tarah ghaayal ho gaye hain!
yah kaise bataaoo(n) tumhen
ki charam saakShaatkaar ke ye anooThe kShaN bhee
jo kabhee-kabhee mere haath se chhooT jaate hain
tumhaaree marm-pukaar jo kabhee-kabhee main naheen sun paatee
tumhaaree bhenT kaa arth jo naheen samajh paatee
to mere saa(n)vare -
laaj man kee bhee hotee hai
ek agyaat bhay,
aparichit sanshay,
aagrah bharaa gopan,
aur sukh ke kShaN
men bhee ghir aane vaalee nirvyaakhyaa udaasee -
phir bhee use cheer kar
der men hee aaoo(n)gee praaN,
to kyaa tum mujhe apanee lambee
chandan-baahon men bhar kar besudh naheen
kar doge?
